Category: Claremont


Photoshop rant.

My dad gave me his old computer and I upgraded to Leopard. Yay, a computer that actually works! However, sometime during that transition Photoshop broke. When I open it, it says some file that it needs is missing, and that I should re-install it. I can open Photoshop, I can still draw things in it, but I can’t open any previously saved files. Which is pretty much useless to me.

So I try to re-install Photoshop–and it says that the install CD is damaged. No visible scratches or anything, but it refuses to re-install.

And lovely, open-source Gimpshop still crashes every time I try to use it.

So now I’m trying to pirate Photoshop. We’ll see how that goes. I (well, my dad, for Christmas) actually paid for this damn piece of graphical shit–I expect to be able to use it, goddammit!

Blah. Even if piracy works, there don’t appear to be any Mac versions of Flash or Dreamweaver (the main applications I’ve used in my portfolio/for class here) available. Which means once I graduate, either I shell out $1,800.00 or I lose all access to a significant chunk of my artsy/webby output over the last two years. Not to mention become incapable of doing further portfolio/professional work without corporate backing.

Sigh. Why does it cost so much to be a starving artist?

So much hate for Adobe right now.

*sigh*

Procrastination can be astoundingly productive, sometimes.

Joshua Tree

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I forgot about blogging it, but on Easter Carolyn, Melissa, Melissa’s boyfriend, and I drove out to Joshua Tree National Park. The weather was great–sunny, not too hot–and we ended up spending the entire time leaping up giant piles of rocks until I finally noticed that my palms were blistering and my thigh muscles were debilitatingly sore. It was fun! The desert was surprisingly green, the joshua trees were blooming, and there were cabbage moths and admiral butterflies flapping all over the place. Anyway, I took a ton of pictures for your viewing pleasure.

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Women Don’t Ask (Don’t Tell)

Right now I’m reading Women Don’t Ask by Babcock and Laschever, the book they gave out to everyone at this year’s Life After Scripps conference. Study after study and anecdote after anecdote about how much women are missing out in comparison to men–in salary, in career advances, in allocation of home duties–because they’re adverse to negotiating. Basic learning point for everyone: when an employer gives you a salary offer, it’s gonna be significantly lower than they can afford to give you. They *expect* you to bargain with them. So do it!

So the beginning part is a simple story: women don’t negotiate; once they start negotiating, that erases most of the wage gap between them and men. Fair enough. But then the middle part (where I’m at now) gets tricky. The authors delve into where women’s aversion to negotiating comes from–boys’ chores being paid while girls’ chores are done for “love,” the subtle but insidious gender prejudices that pervade the raising of children, etc etc. But then we get to adulthood and–guess what!–these prejudices don’t go away, despite how much the mostly-college-educated guinea pigs of academic psych studies would like to aver otherwise. The reason women don’t negotiate–the reason so many successful women feel like “imposters” and shortchange themselves–isn’t just that they were brought up that way once upon a time. It’s because there’s a real threat of consequences for Negotiating While Female! Women who negotiate like men are seen as pushy, called bitches, have their authority undermined and reputations trashed. Ever heard of Bully Broads? It’s a program that companies send professional women to–on pain of firing–to adopt an unassuming demeanor, to premise their statements with a pile of self-disparaging qualifiers, even to tear up during meetings (Hillary’s “emotional moment”, anyone?). Jesus Christ, it’s like a de-gay-ification program for the boardroom! While, sure, that’ll definitely make businesswomen seem more “feminine,” I find it unlikely it would make them any more successful. They’ll just be ignored instead of loathed. Lovely.

It appears that, while finding the Bully Broads approach abhorrent, the book’s authors advocate that women, instead of negotiating like men, learn to be assertive while still acting like women. They point to studies showing that for women, a “social” mode of speaking is the most persuasive–where you firmly assert your argument, but couch it in sweet, social rhetoric. They’re probably right–this seems like it would be the best female strategy, from a practical point of view. But from an ideal perspective, it shouldn’t be ignored that it’s total bullshit that women have to walk a fragile assertive-feminine tightrope while men can just talk. (I’m sorry, was that un-feminine of me?)

Assuming I don’t end up in a cardboard box, in three months or so I’ll have a professional life of my very own to worry about. I’ll have to deal with this issue. I’m not sure yet how. For one, not only am I not a particularly feminine person, I’m not an especially socially-adept person either, my gender notwithstanding. I don’t know if I even *could* pull off that tightrope walk without explosively losing my temper or getting an ulcer.

Which makes me want to believe that this book doesn’t apply to me. Other than dismal dating prospects* and once getting thrown out of an otherwise all-male AP US History assignment group**, my being female and assertive hasn’t disadvantaged me in ways that I’ve noticed. I might be snarky, but most people won’t call me a bitch (other than in the affectionate sense). If guys were (are?) intimidated by me, enough of them were able to put it aside enough to be my friend that I didn’t really notice. Hell, I’m not quite sure if some of my male friends even process me as female to begin with. And who would want to be friends with an insecure cock anyway?

But I guess that’s the difference. You can choose your friends, and I never had a problem with a teacher/professor who didn’t like me speaking up in class. (What kind of prof doesn’t want kids raising their hand? Most of them beg for it!) In the corporate world, however, you don’t choose your co-workers or your boss. If one of them is a sexist pig and/or has tiny penis issues, you’re still stuck with them 9-to-5. You still need to find a way to work with them. I guess Women Don’t Ask‘s social persuasion method is that.

Well, I’ll work on it. Until then, here’s hoping for friendly, nerdy, enlightened co-workers?

* Sophomore year, before my confirmation class was confirmed, my pastor met with each us privately. During my conversation with him, for some reason he brought up my dating life–or rather, at the time, the utter lack thereof. “You know why guys aren’t asking you out, right? They’re intimidated, because you’re smart. But once they get their act together, it’s not going to matter anymore. So don’t worry about it.” Random, but he was right.

** Funny story. To this day I have no idea why one of the guys decided to kick me out (and the other two passively went along with it), other than bare-faced sexist insecurity. As a result, for the rest of the semester I essentially became my own group and stayed up nights doing the work of four people. When, at the end of the semester, I got the highest grade in the class on the midterm, it was possibly the sweetest moment of my academic career. Ha ha! Fuck you, asshole!

Oh boy.

The trick to college (and possibly life) is learning how to make the bugs in your brain code work for you.

As you might guess, we’re reading Brown (along with historical background, Plessy, Green, and other crap) right now in my Civil Liberties and Fundamental Rights. While not everyone in the class is a Scripps student (there’s even one guy!), most of them are. So, among other issues, a major topic of discussion today was: if you think Brown‘s choice of a strategy of integration over the Plessy-enabled strategy of equalization was the right one, how do you square that with your choice to attend a women’s-only college?

The professor is trying to save this issue for when we cover affirmative action. Fair enough. But I think talking about the gendered elephant in the room in relation to Brown is useful just because, unlike any of the affirmative action decisions, it holds such a canonized place in our society. Brown is just. Brown is wonderful. Brown saved this country from the ignorant, scary Jim Crow people. Read Brown. Love Brown. Or something. I’m cheating, because I happened to see Derrick Bell speak at Mudd frosh year. But most of the students in the class–and myself before I heard Bell–came in with the assumption that Brown was an unquestionably Good Thing.

Which it most certainly isn’t. Unquestionably good, that is. While the doll studies demonstrated the pernicious effects of a racist society on black kids, it’s unclear that overturning racist educational policy and force-integrating schools benefited them. Attending a previously-white school would give a black student access to much better academic facilities and resources. However, it also would put him in an extremely hostile environment. Instead of having a black teacher who could serve as a potential mentor, he would be taught–and graded–by a likely-racist white prof. Instead of learning with his peers, he would be surrounded by a sneering, bullying mob of strangers. Would these factors fully offset the benefits of attending a better-funded school? It’s not clear. But in the last fifty years there have been a number of studies giving credence to the idea that minority kids tend to learn better in single-minority classes (and women learn better in single-gender classes–studies that women’s college advocates like to cite).

Given these studies, then, it may have been a better strategy to, instead of pursuing school integration, force states to fund the “equal” part of Plessy‘s “separate but equal” mandate. It’d be a hard fight, no doubt. Southern states would fight it tooth and nail. But enforcing desegregation was a long, bloody fight, too. It’s hard to imagine a segregated equality decision, or indeed *any* Supreme Court decision, that would be harder to implement than Brown.

But, as I said before, Brown is as close as we get to holy writ when it comes to contemporary civic diversity. Lots of people want to hold onto it. Some of them attend women’s colleges. Which results in interestingness.

So. The first attempted distinction between segregated (by race) schools and segregated (by gender) schools in class today was based on choice and consent. If women were forced to go to women’s-only schools, we would feel oppressed and made to feel inferior–even if the women’s-only college options were perfectly good institutions in and of themselves. But because we can choose either to go to Scripps or to Yale, the fact of Scripps being a gender-segregated institution doesn’t have that stigma attached.

The problem is, when you move that back over to the case of race–”if black kids can choose to go to either the “white” school or the “black” school, that will remove the “black” school’s stigma and make everything better!”–it just doesn’t work. In fact, after Brown most Southern school districts adopted the strategy of simply giving all students a choice as to which school to attend. Guess what happened? A couple courageous black students chose to attend the “formerly” white school. But the vast, vast majority of black students, whether out of comfort or fear of retribution, “chose” the “formerly” black school. And, of course, no white student ever chose (no need for scare quotes because it was) the black school–why would you, the textbooks were forty years old and the building was rotten! So you’ve got one 100% black school and one ever-so-slightly browner-than-white school. And the black school still has no funding. And worse, by the logic of the Scripps apologists, the black students were choosing, consenting to, this state of affairs!

As you might hope, this system didn’t hold up to judicial scrutiny. Subsequent decisions found that simply giving students a choice as to which school to attend did not adequately implement Brown. For obvious reasons. This resulted in court-ordered busing and minority percentage targets. So the fact that there is a choice to enter a mixed environment does not by itself justify a segregated institution.

The other argument that was made was that there’s a difference between the government/public schools segregating and private schools segregating. I’m hoping that the student who made this argument didn’t think this through. (To be fair, that’s what class discussion is for.) Otherwise, we’d have no quarrel with privately-owned lunch counters (ahem) or schools (BJU, I’m looking at you) who discriminated based on race. Whether or not this changes the *legal* grounds, I find it hard to believe it makes a major difference in the perceived *stigma*. I might care more if the government segregates by gender because the government can do more bad things to me. But in terms of making me feel like less of a person, I’m also gonna be pissed off when I have to, say, travel in the cramped, smoky “women’s” section of the train.

So what is the difference that makes attending Scripps a privilege and attending an all-black high school an inherent stigma?

First, unlike most of the segregated (by race) schools of the 1950s, Scripps is as good or better than most of its co-ed counterparts. There is actual equality of resources and opportunities here. So that additional measure of moral outrage at segregation because of the tangible inequalities involved isn’t present here.

Second, there are so few all-men’s colleges left in the US. I have no idea how many there actually are–three? four? In any case, I don’t know about you, but I don’t have a particular desire to attend any of them. If (as the argument goes) a minority group school gains its stigma not inherently but rather in relation to the majority-group school, then, there aren’t really any men’s colleges left to be envious of or humbled by. There’s no thesis for our antithesis. We’re simply free to ask hard questions in math class while wearing sweatpants and no makeup in our idyllic walled garden. We’re free to just reap the supposed benefits of single-sex education.

However, insofar that Scripps is a privilege, it is also discriminatory. If a Scripps education is really so awesome, it would make sense that a man would want to obtain one. We haven’t been sued yet…but what happens when we are? And how do we resolve that opinion with our garden-variety liberal ideas about race and dominant-narrative understanding of Brown?

Man, I can’t wait for the affirmative action cases…

job search

Remember all those frosh year jokes about liberal arts majors living in boxes? They\'re not funny anymore.

Portal parody

Has anyone else seen these anti-booze HEO flyers around campus? There’s a few in Seal Court, all around the theme of “Don’t be *that* girl/guy!” with the little block people. When I saw them, I immediately thought “Portal!!” For God-knows-what reason.

This is the result:

"don't be that girl"

The Stock Market Game

One of our assignments in Personal Finance is investing 100000 (fictional) dollars in the stock market. Given that the stock market has not been doing particularly well right now, it should be an interesting experience. My group’s picks:

Archer Daniels Midland (ADM) – 115 shares
Dick’s Sporting Goods (DKS) – 400 shares
Genentech (DNA) – 125 shares
Apple Computer (AAPL) – 110 shares
Google, Inc (GOOG) – 25 shares
Seagate, Inc (STX) – 680 shares
The New York Times (NYT) – 255 shares
Amerco (UHAL) – 200 shares
International Paper (IP) – 310 shares
American Apparel (APP) – 984 shares

We know basically nothing about investing in stocks. Most of our justifications for stock picks went something like “well, it’s springtime, farmers’ll be buying seed… let’s invest in agribusiness!” or “hmm, because of the mortgage crisis lots of people will be needing to move out when their homes get foreclosed… let’s invest in (the parent company of) U-Haul!” Which is a terrible thing to say.

So let’s see how this goes.

“This Year” by the Mountain Goats: I didn’t know the band was actually from Pitzer until after I’d fallen in love with this song. But it’s no wonder–the street names and setting of the song are clearly Claremont. A surprisingly large number of my friends seem to have this as their theme song recently. Maybe I’ll submit something based on it for Graffiti Wall…not much other than bitterness seems to unite Scripps ’08, after all…

“Sort It Out” by the Caesars

“The Queen of Everything” by Haley Bonar

“Our Life Is Not a Movie Or Maybe” by Okkervil River

“Steak For Chicken” by the Moldy Peaches: “We’re not those kids/Sittin’ on the couch”

“The Man Of Metropolis Steals Our Hearts” by Sufjan Stevens

“Planetary” by Rainer Maria

“Battlescars” by Ozma

“Carry On My Wayward Son” by Kansas: Guitar Hero. Also, awesome.

“Knights of Cydonia” by Muse: Musically I prefer “Supermassive Black Holes,” but this one’s more thematically appropriate, I think…

“Black Heart” by Calexico

“Still Fighting It” by the Ben Folds Five

“Beach Song” by Speechwriters LLC

“The Race” by Archer Prewitt

“Prescilla” by Bat For Lashes: I heard this song a couple times on the Current and thought it was catchy and rhythmic. Turns out it’s scarily personal in a number of respects…not the least of which is the lack of a home. I’m filing four tax returns in three different states this year. It’s messed up. Lyrics below the cut.

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